How to Be Alone When You are in a Relationship

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There are too many dangerous misconceptions that shape our view of the so-called perfect relationship. Usually, those misconceptions deal with the stripping of one’s individuality in the name of long-lasting coupledom and undeniable romance.

You don’t do what you want to do, you do what we want to do.

You don’t have your own opinion, the two of you have an opinion.

You don’t have your own space, the two of you share a space.

And while the comfort of all-encompassing closeness can be the magic fairy tale dreams are made of, it is also unreasonable, unsustainable, and downright dangerous.

Because the truth is, we all need time alone.

We need to feel the space between adorned walls and lazy chairs, where our bodies can stretch and expand and unapologetically take up free space.

We need the opportunity to sit in solitude, untouched and unattached, so the constantly swirling complexities of any given day can be digested.

We need to feel nothing but the air we’re breathing, our skin burdened only by the weightlessness of silence.

And we especially need to be alone when we find ourselves in a relationship.

It doesn’t mean you

Ending Toxic Relationships

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Ladies and Gentlemen, let me decree: The age where you stop putting up with people’s bullshit is 36. It may come well before then, but I know for sure the beaten, bloody corpse of giving-a-damn breathes its last miserable breath on your 36th day of birth.

Too dramatic? You’re right. I’m an artist. I get emotional sometimes. Let me try this again.

This year on my 36th birthday, I received a phone call from someone purporting to wish me well; but I was instead met with an out-of-nowhere onslaught of anger, bitterness and passive-aggressive insults. I tried desperately to save the conversation, to walk away from the call with some sense of positivity, but the wounds were too deep and the history between us too complicated.

Which is when I came to a necessary but painful realization: the relationship needed to end immediately. I wished the person well and hung up the phone. I will probably never speak to them again.

Put very simply, if a relationship (whether it be a friend, a family member or a significant other) makes you feel bad, you shouldn’t be in

10 of the Worst Dates Ever

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First dates are awkward enough when they’re going smoothly, so you can only imagine the horrors of a date that is going terribly wrong. You know you have imagined it, too (if you haven’t already experienced it yet, that is): you’re on your way to a first date, and your palms are sweaty while worst-case scenarios swirl around your head. Some people make it through their date without incident (and feel a little silly for imagining such absurd things to begin with), but some people have their worst fears realized- and we’ve asked these people to share their stories for our own viewing pleasure (and reassurance!) that it happens to everyone. It’s a part of life, so laugh it off, albeit, a bit nervously. Read on for ten of the “worst-date scenarios” ever experienced, and be thankful these haven’t happened to you (yet). And share your own if you’ve got one!

1. The Player
“I went to a bar with a guy who complained about being tired the entire time and said little else. He played candy crush until the cheerleaders came out on

Tinder App Membership And Features And Costs

Tinder is one of the most popular website for online dating. Tinder works by using the location and search for the persons in and around you. This is a location based search application online. This tinder application links with the face book and connects your face book profile to your tinder profile. By creating the account in tinder you will automatically connect to your face book profile. So if you like any of the profile then that profile person can view your face book updates and your contacts and likes and all. This app was launched in 2012. By 2014 many users are registering in this app. About one billion swipes are there per day in this app from 2014.

This has become very popular and well known in India also. This app was founded by Sean Rad, Jonathan Badeen, Joe Munoz, Whitney Wolfe, Dinesh Moorjani, and Justine Mateene. Tinder uses the face book profile to upload the photos that are already there in your face book. When we swipe Tinder shows so many matches in and around. One can select their partner based on their preferences. This is also one form of dating site. This

Making An Excellent Online Dating Profile Is Essential

potensialMaking an excellent online dating profile is essential most of the time, making an online dating profile can be terrifying. Nevertheless, it’s not constantly uncomplicated to boost yourself without sounding arrogant or even worse, hopeless. Try only old and trusted dating sites like eharmony.

Hence, here are some great tips on creating your online dating profile that possibly work for you. It seems reasonable that you would use the good old Internet for finding your special someone and spotting a nice prospective partner. That supposed, the world of online dating can be demoralizing if you’ve never undertook it before (and we don’t mean websites similar to this one).

First, you must enlist affable activities. People have to visualize how they’ll suit into your life. Thus, expressing yourself as a bookworm and internet buff makes them feel they’d never see you. Draw attention to your love of anything athletic, outdoorsy or publicly such as gigs and exhibitions. Maintain encouraging viewpoint. Shun pessimistic attitudes and constantly be optimistic about yourself.

Your profile is basically your dating bio-data. You wouldn’t wish a prospect manager to read anything unconstructive.

Are You a Trash Can for Others Negativity

Carmen, a client of mine, told me at the end of one of her sessions, “I’m no longer willing to be a trash can for others’ negativity.”

“Wow!” I said. “I’m delighted to hear that! And I love that metaphor!”

Carmen is a lovely, warm, intelligent and compassionate young woman in her late 20’s. Coming from a very narcissistic mother, Carmen learned early in life to be safe from her mother’s anger by listening to her mother’s complaints. She learned to put aside her own feelings and be a mother to her mother. Of course, no matter how much she gave to her mother, it was never enough. It wasn’t until Carmen started her Inner Bonding work that she discovered was narcissism was.

Early in our work together, Carmen discovered that most of her friends were just like her mother. “I sit and listen to them complain or listen to them brag. They are never interested in me at all. If I say anything about myself, they always bring it right back to themselves. Why are so many of my friends like this?”

“Because you are willing to listen without speaking up for yourself. There are many self-absorbed people — narcissistic people with entitlement

How to Know If You’re Settling

I think one of the greatest relationship myths perpetuated by-single-people-for-single-people, is that if you are patient and look hard enough, you will eventually find your “perfect” mate. Operating under this assumption, we spend much of our fantasy-time envisioning what this perfection entails, creating a laundry list of personality traits, physical features, abilities and even experiences that this imminent lover of ours will have. “I’m seeing… a bilingual Ivy League grad, at least six feet tall, and naturally charismatic. He’ll get along with my mom, have a golden retriever named Buddy, and be as good in bed as he is at his executive level finance job,” we declare to our friends over our third round of happy hour vodka tonics.

Perhaps even less emotionally healthy than theorizing about our own imaginary partners, we also gossip about coupled-up acquaintances and evaluate the merit of their real-life romantic companions. “I don’t know what Maggie sees in him, she could do so much better!” someone might say, and then inevitably follow this up with a declarative: “I would never settle like that.”

So there we are, simultaneously holding on to our idea of a flawless romantic match while also asserting we won’t settle for anything

Getting Over Relationship Insecurity

“She isn’t attracted to me anymore. She never acts as excited to see me when I come home. Why can’t it just be like it was in the beginning?” My friend has just entered into the first of two common phases of relationship insecurity: rhetorical questioning. The internal investigation continues with, “She takes forever to answer my texts. Doesn’t she miss me when I’m gone? She used to always laugh at my jokes. Do you think she’s interested in someone else?”

Then comes phase two: turning on himself, “It’s because I’m losing my looks. I’m away too often. She doesn’t think I’m fun anymore. I can’t make her happy. There’s something wrong with me. She wants someone better.”

We’ve all most likely been at one or the other ends of this scenario; we’ve either been the worrier or been with the worrier. Chances are, we’ve actually experienced both. Insecurity , as most of us know firsthand, can be toxic to our closest relationships. And while it can bounce back and forth from partner to partner, both the cause of our insecurity and its cure reside in us alone.

Unsurprisingly, studies have found that people with low self-esteem have more relationship insecurities, which

How to Keep Loving Someone

You have to love someone in the cracks between the big moments. You have to grab their hand when you’re sitting on the couch watching Shark Tank together and you have to give them a little knowing look that says, “I see you and I love you here in the mundane moments of our life.” You have to understand who you are, to dive deep into the wounds of your past so that you don’t bring those wounds into the present. You need to know when it’s about you or when it’s about them. You have to carry your own pain.

It’s easy to fall in love with someone, to bask in newly-minted intimacy and lose yourself in the romance. It’s easy to start a love. It’s the staying part. The keeping part. The difficulty comes in the life plus love part, when you’re trying to squish two people together to make a unit.

When life enters the picture – bills and payments and jobs and stress and divided attentions – that’s when love starts to feel less like a romance and more like a battle. This is when the best of intentions fall to dust, when two people who used to spend a day in

Why You Gossip and What It Means

Before you think, “Gossip, who me? Never!” Think again.

Everyone gossips, whether they believe they do or not. Remember when your co-worker complained about your crazy boss, and you nodded in agreement? Or when you told your friend that thing you didn’t like about your other friend? Or that concerned conversation you had about a friend’s drinking habits — but the conversation wasn’t directly with them?

That’s gossip, alright. And we’re all guilty as charged.

In the world of social crimes — picking your nose in public or eating someone else’s lunch at work — gossip seems more of a misdemeanor, or at least a petty offense. What’s so terrible about airing your grievances once in awhile, or confiding in a friend?

More than you would think. Understanding the true nature of gossip will change the dynamic of your friendships, your business relationships, and even time-tested bonds within your own family. Caring about it will change YOU, and the way you relate to and communicate with everyone in your life.

IT STARTS INNOCENTLY ENOUGH.

Most people don’t gossip with the intention of outrightly trashing their unsuspecting subject. Typically, it goes something like this: Someone or something offends you, and you’re not cool with it.

Cubicle Love Connection

What to keep in mind when things heat up at the watercooler.

One of my best friends is a social worker at a community mental health center. She took the position immediately out of college, viewing it as a natural step in the development of her career.

Within the first month, she found herself working closely with a handsome speech pathologist who treated a number of her clients. Now, many case meetings and treatment-plan reviews later, they’re engaged.

Bet you’re not surprised—or shocked. Most people crave social interaction and companionship. What better place to find it than on the job? After all, office life is hospitable to the development of romance on many fronts. Daily interaction, a safe and generally dependable environment and common interests are all conditions that can ignite an initial spark between two people.

Casual interactions, from laughter over a cup of coffee or heated discussions in the conference room to mutual schmoozing at a trade show, can naturally evolve into attraction. However, reconciling the personal and professional benefits and the perils of an office affair is a formidable task.

Dating a coworker may seem an ideal solution for those who just don’t have the time to meet a potential partner.

Why Doesn’t He/She Listen?

Much too often in life, I have come across couples or one person in a couple who complained about the significant other in their life not listening to them. These people often hear, but do not listen. And this single point is what brings about the downfall of a good portion of relationships today.

Listening skills are not automatic. We grow up communicating very differently from one another, depending on a wide range of factors, gender being just one of them. But gender is usually the easiest to focus our attention on because the generalizations made about the genders hold a grain of truth in their words for all of us. “He’d rather watch football than talk to me.” “She’d rather talk on the phone with her girlfriends than go out with me.” “He’d rather go out on a night with the ‘guys’ than go out to dinner with me.” “She’d rather go shopping than go golfing with me.” And so on… Even if not always or true, we look at these examples, and things like them, and realize, “Hey, yeah, there’s a bit of me in there.” That’s why comedians so often use gender-related material to make their jokes —

Choosing Online Dating

Whenever someone asks me how I met my wife, I proudly say, “Online!” But of course, I think to myself… Where else would one meet up with one’s significant other nowadays?

Actually, my attitude is probably not the norm in society. At least not yet. But before long, it wouldn’t surprise me to find that online dating has surpassed other forms of meeting one’s significant other. Why? Because it is more efficient, produces better matches (and dates!), and allows love to bloom when the silly things (such as actually having something in common) are already taken care of ahead of time.

More Efficient

Using online dating services are far more efficient than other methods of dating. Getting set up by friends or family is purely a hit-or-miss proposition. While well-intentioned, friends and family often don’t really know us half as well as they think they do. We don’t often share all of the intimate details of our lives, our likes, dislikes, hopes, and dreams for the future with everyone. So people can get somewhat biased ideas of what we’re like, because they only see what we’re like with them.

Office romances, while convenient, are often fraught with possible problems, danger, and role conflicts. Meeting

How To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Is there any way to determine if a relationship is going to work? First, a relationship is not a machine in which the laws of physics determine proper operation. We have to accept (which term as rich) that there is no magic wand that guarantees the success on loving relationships. As in so many things and aspects of our lives, effort and social learning, in the broadest sense, and education that we have received from our parents (in most cases) by transmitting healthy values are the elements that will enable us to work in the exciting journey of our everyday caring relationship.

While there are no written rules to ensure a healthy love mode “if you do this, now that,” however they do exist a number of verbs that can guide us in a very good direction to the goal of a healthy relationship and satisfactory: respect, compromise, communicate and share.

Respect
Is very well speak of respect for your partner. It’s very good. But you respect yourself / a? Do you still respect your weaknesses and limitations? Do you respect your values ​​and beliefs? Do you respect because you’re a person? Do you recognize yourself as someone unique and unrepeatable and therefore endowed with full dignity? Only from a total respect

The 10 Secrets of Happy Couples

They might be 30, or 75. They come in all colors, shapes, sizes and income brackets. It doesn’t matter how long they’ve been together. Whatever the demographics, when you see a happy couple, you just know it!

How do these couples stay in love, in good times and in bad? Fortunately, the answer isn’t through luck or chance. As a result of hard work and commitment, they figure out the importance of the following relationship “musts.” Because few couples know about all of the musts, I think of them as the relationship “secrets.”

Happy Couples and Their Secrets

1. Develop a realistic view of committed relationships.

Recognize that the crazy infatuation you experienced when your romance was new won’t last. A deeper, richer relationship, and one that should still include romance, will replace it. A long-term relationship has ups and downs, and expecting it will be all sunny and roses all the time is unrealistic.

2. Work on the relationship.

An untended garden develops weeds that can ultimately kill even the heartiest plants. And so it is with relationships. It is important to address problems and misunderstandings immediately. Some people believe good relationships just happen naturally. The truth is that a good relationship, like anything

The Sex Lives of Teenagers

Rory’s parents had discovered that Rory was sexually active and wanted to know how to handle his request to have Jen (his girlfriend) “sleep over” when they were planning to be out of town. They decided to talk it over with someone because they had different opinions. When Rory, who was now seventeen, had posed the question, he had told his parents that he had seen me and suggested that they call me.

Waiting between sessions, I could hear Susan’s and Mike’s raised voices on the path to my office as I sat working at my desk.

“This is the door to her office.”

“No, this way, over there!”

After a few minutes of this I decided to stand at my entryway to guide them.

Mike was a tall man with the same broad shoulders as his son, the football player. He looked like he knew where he was going, but he had already passed my office and was opening the door to the toolshed. Susan was still at the very top of the path. She was on her hands and knees, admiring an English ivy pushing its way out between two rocks. I thought she might be trying to take a cutting. I

Reviving Your Marriage

Is your marriage alive and well, or is it time to dial 911? Chances are the health of your relationship falls somewhere in the middle — slightly out of shape and tired. Unfortunately most of us tend to take the health of a marriage for granted. And we don’t realize how important a happy, healthy relationship is until it’s time for marital CPR.

Maintaining personal health requires work — exercise, good nutrition, rest and regular checkups. No one teaches us that the same kind of maintenance is also necessary in order to keep a marriage alive. Love between a parent and child is unconditional. Love between a husband and wife is not. As divorce statistics would indicate, an untended marriage falls apart too easily. The good news is that there are ways to make a marriage survive, and better yet, thrive.

Your Marital Diagnosis

There are warning signs or “symptoms” when your marriage is “under the weather.” Here are some key symptoms:

  • feelings of chronic resentment toward your spouse
  • lack of laughter between the two of you
  • desire to spend free time with someone other than your mate
  • too much time spent playing the “blame game”
  • conversations between you are laced with bitterness and sarcasm

Relationship

Modern Love: Ways Women Can be More Assertive

It’s not long ago that men were expected to do all the chasing and make all the decisions when it comes to dating. But how much has this changed in the 21st century?

A survey by DatingDirect.com suggests a new trend — women are becoming sassy and assertive, while men are remaining more traditional in their approach to courtship.

In the survey of over 2,000 people, women reported being less shy on dates than men (29 per cent versus 44 per cent), and making more effort with their appearance — half choose smart, sexy clothes on a first date, whereas 78 per cent of men go for the casual and relaxed look. Women also like to keep the finances on an equal footing. Seventy per cent prefer to split the expense of a date, or pay for themselves. However, 52 per cent of men believe it’s their time honoured duty to pay.

Darren Richards of DatingDirect.com concludes: “The rules of dating may be changing for some, but the concept is still as popular as ever.”

But what might be stopping you from taking the first step? Sometimes even very intelligent, funny, confident women don’t ask guys out because they believe that

Love Versus Infatuation

Finally, you have met him or her. You know what I mean, the one. All your life, or so it seems, you have been waiting for the person who made your heart pound, made the stars bright, and taken over all reasonable thought processes with ideas of making love on every beach from here to Tahiti.

You have a weird expression on your face, food suddenly seems like a mere inconvenience and sleep is just something you used to do. Your friends tease you about being in love. Your mother WARNS you about being in love.

Of course, you’re not stupid. You’ve been around (more than Mom knows about), and you have spent time in meditation/therapy having explored your own needs in the world. You want a soul mate but this guy/gal is just so sexy that it’s hard to imagine introducing him/her to your parents at all.

Going Public

So, things are going well and you are looking toward the next step, becoming an item. Going public. Everyone knows and invites you as a couple. People you know speculate about the future of your relationship. But the future means forever when it comes to commitment, so how do you know if this is

Coping with the Loss of a Spouse

Dealing with the loss of a spouse can be one of the most traumatic and stressful events in a person’s life. This loss often occurs during a stage when many other changes are occurring. Children are grown and have moved away, the couple has retired and has experienced a significant change in routine, financial status may be up or down, contacts with friends and acquaintances may have been curtailed and the widow or widower’s own health may be declining.

During this time of dramatic upheaval where physical, psychological and spiritual boundaries are challenged, accepting that the grieving process will not be brief makes the whole process even more difficult. In going through this mourning period with many individuals, I have found that a period of one to two years is often necessary. The grieving process, given its length is not too extreme, is one of the most essential elements in the healing process.

Reconstructing a daily pattern of life, during the early months of grieving, can be very difficult. Many individuals find themselves alone for the first time since early adulthood. Loneliness seems intolerable and it may feel as if your only confidants are those who have experienced type of loss.